This is
not a Christmas letter, either.
For one thing,
we didn’t send out a Christmas card this year. We have not lost the holiday
spirit, we simply looked around and said “What the $%^*! How’d it get to be
December 20th?
I have no
clue.
I’ll try to spend
a couple of minutes hitting some highlights of the year as I see them, as well
as a brief description of some of the characters involved. Some of the names
have been changed to protect the allegedly innocent.
In
November, everything we owned blew up.
Jan ordered
the semiannual HVAC evaluation from Rick, our trusty HVAC guy. He dutifully
came out, looked in the crawlspace, and said “Umm, there’s a problem with your
heater boxes.”
“What kind of
problem?”
“The kind of
problem where the insulation starts coming off and it burns your house down.”
“Oh. Rick, is
there any kind of really, really expensive pimp heater boxes you could get to
match the really, really pimp a/c units you installed which are roughly the
size of a Fiat?”
“No problem –
we’ll get on that right away”
Actually, it
helps to have a seriously pimp HVAC system when you run the heat and a/c on
consecutive days. Such is the lot when you live in Houston.
“There’s a
cold front coming! No, wait, it’s a warm front! No, wait, it’s not a front at all?
Did I hear tornado warning? There’s a risk of Oldsmobiles flying around? Oh
wait, that would be Toronados. Darn.”
Anyway, if you
ever see a headline that says something like “Woodlands man assaults Weather
Channel anchor”, that’s probably me. Just the bald guy, though – not any of the
pregnant blonde chicks.
Anyway, after
that, I was sitting peacefully in the driveway, replacing non-functioning BMW
parts, when Jan walks up. “What are you doing?”
Jan sits down
on the tire. I’m done explaining, yet she’s not leaving.
“What?”
“Sparks just
shot out of the stereo receiver and it’s not making any sound now – is that
bad?”
Did I mention
I’m really not a huge fan of November?
Actually, that
was balanced out somewhat by Camp Cullen – Connor and Rowan both attended this
year again. This was not the plan – I was only going to take Connor, but Rowan
was so excited about Cullen I couldn’t say no. Classic Y camp stuff – archery,
riflery, crafts, poker after the kids go to sleep… This was definitely the last
shot for her for Cullen, though – the older girls have some more opportunities
planned – stay tuned. As Rowan gets older, I am shifting more of my focus to
Connor’s group with the YMCA Parent-Child program – Rowan’s had her shot,
right? I’m kind of kidding but it is
difficult balancing the demands of two groups – fortunately, I couldn’t as for
a better bunch of guys – the campouts have become like mini-vacations to me.
Rita
We stayed in
town for Rita – after much agonizing, and watching the storm to see if it would
turn North, it did. It was amazing to see the number of people who were leaving
the city – I drove out to the freeway and looked South on that Thursday – it
was stopped cars as far as you could see. Everything was shut down – no food,
no gas, no water – we had a good deal of stuff on hand so we would have been
okay either way. Probably half of the neighborhood evacuated, and maybe two or
three houses put boards up. For the rest of us, the preparation consisted of
pacing nervously and wondering whether we should cut out. Fortunately, my
mother and brother were in San Angelo, so they just stayed there. We never lost
power during the storm but were subject to rolling blackouts afterward.
Vacation
This year we
went to Disneyland for the 50th anniversary. I went to Disneyland
every year from about 1967 to 1990, and it was always a high point for me. The
trip was always ostensibly for my father’s birthday – it never clicked until I
was much older that it was something he did for us, rather than the other way
around – and even in the 70’s when no one had any money, we always went, we
never had any restrictions on what we could eat, and we always got a souvenir.
This time
around we stayed on the property, at the Disneyland Hotel – the whole crew
went, including my mother and brother. I would recommend staying there if you
go – having everything in the room, even down to the wallpaper, be
Disney-themed really adds something. Everyone had a good time, even if we were
somewhat sleep-deprived at the end of the stay.
Vacation 2
Jan turned
forty (40) years old in October. She started groaning about it about a year
ago. I’ve tried to be sympathetic but I genuinely not understand the
fascination with age and numbers. It’s not like something magical happens on
your birthday, you go from being a nubile young maiden to an old crone in an
instant.
“Dude, what
happened to her – I saw her last week and she was hot, like smokin’
hot.”
“Yeah man, she
turned 40 last Friday”.
“Bummer.”
Anyway, to
ease her pain, I took her on a 4-day cruise to Cozumel. We slid between the
storms and were probably some of the last people to see Cozumel in a somewhat
intact configuration. On our out trip, we rented a Jeep, drove to San Gervasio,
and hung out for the rest of the time at a beach club and ate ceviche. Driving
in Mexico is always an experience. On the way through San Miguel there were
families of nine on a single moped dragracing us at stoplights, and on the way
back we followed what I can best describe as the only trash truck driven by a
WRC driver. You haven’t truly lived until you’ve seen a trash truck in a 4
wheel drift at 65 kph. Oh, and if you ask a Mexican policeman for directions in
Spanish, he will courteously give you a detailed answer – also in Spanish. You
will not understand them.
Random Connor
This summer,
Connor caught a bass in the pond in the adjacent neighborhood – it was pretty
good sized. Connor always pretty much acts like the world should come to him,
and it pretty much does. It’s never a surprise when he catches a bass on the
first cast or wins the free Coke by looking under the cap 4 times out of 8
purchases. He is in Kindergarten this year – his good nature and imagination
make him kind of a favorite. He’s been hanging around Powell since he was 2, so
this year he pretty much walked in like he owned the place. He seems adept at
mathematics but has resisted reading with any degree of facility – I fear he
will eventually become an engineer. He’s kind of a big kid, but not really
chunky or lanky – he basically looks like a scaled-down 15 year old. He also possesses a rather quirky sense of
humor. On an unrelated note, Connor’s birthday party was delayed this year
because of Rita, and he would not admit to being 6 until he had his “friend”
birthday in October – “okay, who’s six here?”
-Connor, not
raising his hand
“Connor, come
on, put your hand up”
“Mom, I’m not
6 until I have my friend birthday party”
In honor of
his 6-ness he has adopted the appellation Con6nor.
Random Rowan
Rowan started
middle school this year. When I was growing up, there was no such thing as
middle school – 5th and 6th were just the highest
elementary school grades. Best I can figure, it’s kind of a junior version of
junior high school – you have a locker, and rotate between different
classrooms, but it’s all on the same hallway. I guess you have to train for two
years to go to junior high school for two years. So far, the largest single
benefit of middle school is that Rowan got to take the class guinea pig –
“Senor Pablo” – home with her. We celebrated by buying $50 worth of accessories
for its 2 ½ week stay. It turns out that guinea pigs love cilantro – he just hoovers
it up by the bunch. Other than that, his main tricks seem to be
a) walking through a length of pipe, and
b) looking kind of furry
This seems to
be enough for Rowan, though, so I guess it’s good enough for me. We do have a
new Y camp coming up in late January – Camp Hamann Ranch – and a few other
things to do together. Oh – she was outed this year as a dancer since this was
a show year and she did the Nutcracker -
she can no longer keep the fact that she’s been dancing since she was 3
a secret. She always looked kind of dancy just standing there; now she’s
actually trying – her instructors seem pleased. Since she is a 10 year-old
girl, everything is cuuuuuuute! The first time I heard the high-pitched
squeal, I thought that perhaps something heavy had fallen on her. Nope – turns
out they all talk that way. Go figure.
The PTO Mafia
Jan would tell
you about this herself, but the first rule of the PTO Mafia is that you don’t
talk about the PTO Mafia.
Let me put it
to you this way – last spring, they sold me six seats and a parking space at a free
school event – the fourth grade graduation – for nearly two hundred dollars.
I’ve probably said too much already.
From my
totally disinterested and detached observations, I can say the following:
a) It takes a lot of time
b) They do a lot of stuff - including, this year for the first time,
mentoring another PTO in CISD
c) Starbucks would go out of business
without their continued patronage
She also
serves as an academic room mom for Connor’s class.
In short, she
spends enough time at Powell that she has her own access badge, and there are a
lot of people who would be surprised to find out that she does not work
there.
The rest of
her time is spent trying to prevent me from buying more cars, or at least from
modifying the ones we have.
“You know, I
think the BMW would look good slammed on bags”
“No, it
wouldn’t”
“Okay……..how
‘bout just a really big stereo, then?”
Interlude
Rowan and
Connor are currently eating lunch and arguing about who has a better memory. If
I remind them of this conversation tomorrow, they will have no recollection of
it.
More random stuff
Jan
volunteered me for a band this year. Keep in mind I had essentially not played
for 15 years. I have asked her to refrain from volunteering me for anything
else I used to do. “Oh, you need someone to climb an 800 ft, 5 pitch vertical
wall with you? I’m pretty sure Jer’s free this Saturday!”
Anyway, we
played a pretty successful neighborhood party, then they played a pizza place
without me when I was at Cullen with Rowan and Connor. I spend a lot of time
during practice saying things like “you know, if I threw in an excerpt from the
Peanuts theme instead of the guitar break, I think that’d sound really cool”.
They spend a lot of time looking at me funny. Art is representational by its
nature anyway.
I also mostly
shuttered my practice to go in-house with a client in the fall in a Business
Development position. Some of you may be saying “What would he do in a business
development position? He was a psychologist before he was an attorney.”
To you I say
“Shhhhhhhh!”.
Move along, nothing to see
here
I hope that
your 2006 is at least not boring. Sometimes, that’s the best we can hope for.
j
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